Friday, November 12, 2004
YASSAR ARAFAT STILL DEAD (SORT OF)
reported by Suplex
ASSOCIATED PRESS - Yassar Arafat is once again dead, after a short run as a zombified half-dead entity.
Arafat initially died early November 11th in a Paris, France medical care facility after a long illness. He was in a coma for much of his stay at the Parisian hospital.
After his death at 0230 GMT, Arafat's body was placed in the hospital's morgue, where apparently the work of a voodoo priestess came to fruition. Arafat's zombified corpse rose from the cart his lifeless body was placed on. Arafat then began to gnaw determinedly on the brain of the body next to his, the corpse of one Jacques LeFleur.
LeFleur, 54, was a member of the French military, and had passed away after a sudden heart attack.
This provoked a quick response from the worldwide headquarters for prevention of zombie attacks, the Polish Army.
"Ve haf der zombie killing skills, ja," said Polish army spokesperson Stanislaus Zgniewscinski.
Zgniewscinski told reporters of the epic battle to destory Arafat's soulless shell and to keep the spectre of zombieism from spreading.
"Ja, ve hat to chop off Mr. Arafat's het und run away from der body, ja. Lookily by dat time ve hat der help of der French army, und dey haf more experience in running away, ja."
Thankfully, no one was seriously hurt in the ensuing chaos.
Arafat's headless body is now in the custody of Egyptian officials, who will bury most of him in Cairo later this week.
ASSOCIATED PRESS - Yassar Arafat is once again dead, after a short run as a zombified half-dead entity.
Arafat initially died early November 11th in a Paris, France medical care facility after a long illness. He was in a coma for much of his stay at the Parisian hospital.
After his death at 0230 GMT, Arafat's body was placed in the hospital's morgue, where apparently the work of a voodoo priestess came to fruition. Arafat's zombified corpse rose from the cart his lifeless body was placed on. Arafat then began to gnaw determinedly on the brain of the body next to his, the corpse of one Jacques LeFleur.
LeFleur, 54, was a member of the French military, and had passed away after a sudden heart attack.
This provoked a quick response from the worldwide headquarters for prevention of zombie attacks, the Polish Army.
"Ve haf der zombie killing skills, ja," said Polish army spokesperson Stanislaus Zgniewscinski.
Zgniewscinski told reporters of the epic battle to destory Arafat's soulless shell and to keep the spectre of zombieism from spreading.
"Ja, ve hat to chop off Mr. Arafat's het und run away from der body, ja. Lookily by dat time ve hat der help of der French army, und dey haf more experience in running away, ja."
Thankfully, no one was seriously hurt in the ensuing chaos.
Arafat's headless body is now in the custody of Egyptian officials, who will bury most of him in Cairo later this week.
