Saturday, October 23, 2004
Lionel Richie Dead at 55
reported by Suplex, with additional reporting by Rhino RADkins
World-famous recording artist Lionel Richie, born June 20, 1949 in Tuskegee, Alabama died today at the age of 55 around 5:46 P.M.
Mostly famous for his work during the 80's, Richie got his start in music in the 1970's with the Commodores. The Commodores are best known for the Top Ten Funk hit "(She's a) Brick House."
After an increasing swarm of media coverage, Richie left the group in 1981 to begin work as a solo artist. The album "Can't Slow Down" launched his career and made him an instant superstar. Richie released several more albums in the 80's and 90's, including "Dancing on the Ceiling" and "Hello".
Birmingham, Alabama coroner William Scott was asked for details surrounding the seemingly untimely death. Scott replied, "Upon examining the body... along with minute traces of cocaine in his system, the cause of death appears to be a heart attack. This heart failure apparently has little to do with the presence of the narcotic, but was most likely triggered by sudden stress."
Richie's 23 year old daughter, Nicole, refused to talk with the media. Rumor has Nicole as the cause of her father's untimely death. Shortly after approaching her father to tell him the shocking news that she and Michael Jackson were getting engaged, Lionel had a heart attack and died in his living room.
Michael Jackson, Nicole's godfather famous singer (and accused child molestor), released a statement reading: "I can't believe that he found this news to be shocking. After all I've been dating his daughter since she was 18.
And NO! I do not molest little boys. I give then warm milk and cookies and read them bed time stories before putting them to sleep. That's not against the law. Right?"
The newly engaged couple's wedding plans are still unknown.
World-famous recording artist Lionel Richie, born June 20, 1949 in Tuskegee, Alabama died today at the age of 55 around 5:46 P.M.
Mostly famous for his work during the 80's, Richie got his start in music in the 1970's with the Commodores. The Commodores are best known for the Top Ten Funk hit "(She's a) Brick House."
After an increasing swarm of media coverage, Richie left the group in 1981 to begin work as a solo artist. The album "Can't Slow Down" launched his career and made him an instant superstar. Richie released several more albums in the 80's and 90's, including "Dancing on the Ceiling" and "Hello".
Birmingham, Alabama coroner William Scott was asked for details surrounding the seemingly untimely death. Scott replied, "Upon examining the body... along with minute traces of cocaine in his system, the cause of death appears to be a heart attack. This heart failure apparently has little to do with the presence of the narcotic, but was most likely triggered by sudden stress."
Richie's 23 year old daughter, Nicole, refused to talk with the media. Rumor has Nicole as the cause of her father's untimely death. Shortly after approaching her father to tell him the shocking news that she and Michael Jackson were getting engaged, Lionel had a heart attack and died in his living room.
Michael Jackson, Nicole's godfather famous singer (and accused child molestor), released a statement reading: "I can't believe that he found this news to be shocking. After all I've been dating his daughter since she was 18.
And NO! I do not molest little boys. I give then warm milk and cookies and read them bed time stories before putting them to sleep. That's not against the law. Right?"
The newly engaged couple's wedding plans are still unknown.
Friday, October 22, 2004
INSANE CLOWN POSSE TO RELEASE SYMPHONIC TRIBUTE TO MICHAEL BOLTON
reported by Suplex
REUTERS - The Insane Clown Posse (ICP) announced in an exclusive press conference that they have decided to bring their Grammy award-winning strains of rap-rock to the works of Michael Bolton.
"We'd always been really tight with Mikey," said Violent J. "This was the only natural extension of our talents."
Shaggy 2 Dope remarked "We've been looking for a project to do with Lightning Bolt for some time, so we knew when our A&R guys came up with this idea, we had to do it."
Other members of the ICP family, including Twizted, will also appear on this compilation, tentatively titled When a Juggalo Loves a Bolton.
Atlantic Records was said to be ecstatic at the prospect of joining together two of their biggest selling artists in a thrilling collaboration.
Bolton responded with a statement reading, "Who are these no-talent fucks, and how did they get my home phone number?"
REUTERS - The Insane Clown Posse (ICP) announced in an exclusive press conference that they have decided to bring their Grammy award-winning strains of rap-rock to the works of Michael Bolton.
"We'd always been really tight with Mikey," said Violent J. "This was the only natural extension of our talents."
Shaggy 2 Dope remarked "We've been looking for a project to do with Lightning Bolt for some time, so we knew when our A&R guys came up with this idea, we had to do it."
Other members of the ICP family, including Twizted, will also appear on this compilation, tentatively titled When a Juggalo Loves a Bolton.
Atlantic Records was said to be ecstatic at the prospect of joining together two of their biggest selling artists in a thrilling collaboration.
Bolton responded with a statement reading, "Who are these no-talent fucks, and how did they get my home phone number?"
DEF LEPPARD NAMED 327th BEST BAND IN BRITAIN
reported by Suplex
ASSOCIATED PRESS - In a poll of readers of NME, Def Leppard was named the 327th greatest band in England.
"We consider this a great honor, as we thought everyone had forgotten about us completely," said Joe Elliot, lead singer for the once-popular hair metal band.
Groups ranked ahead of Def Leppard include the Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, the Rolling Stones, Cream, the Stone Roses, Oasis, the Kinks, Supergrass, Mott the Hoople, Jethro Tull, 5ive, the Pogues, Duran Duran, Soft Cell, Prodigy, Bronski Beat, New Order, the Pet Shop Boys, the Faces, the Small Faces, Humble Pie, Herman's Hermits, Gerry and the Pacemakers, the Dave Clark Five, T. Rex, Lloyd Cole and the Drifters, Take That, Squeeze, the English Beat, Fishbone, Deep Purple, Chumbawamba, ABC, and 294 other bands of fair to middling talent.
Rick Allen, the drummer who lost his arm in a horrific car wreck in the mid-1980's, was overheard saying "You mean there are stil people who can remember us? Even I had forgotten most of our songs."
The producer responsible for most of Def Leppard's mid-80's hits (like Pour Some Sugar on Me, Armageddon It, Photograph, and Rock of Ages), Mutt Lange, was unavailable for comment as he was reportedly "fucking the shit out of Shania Twain in a mansion in Switzerland."
ASSOCIATED PRESS - In a poll of readers of NME, Def Leppard was named the 327th greatest band in England.
"We consider this a great honor, as we thought everyone had forgotten about us completely," said Joe Elliot, lead singer for the once-popular hair metal band.
Groups ranked ahead of Def Leppard include the Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, the Rolling Stones, Cream, the Stone Roses, Oasis, the Kinks, Supergrass, Mott the Hoople, Jethro Tull, 5ive, the Pogues, Duran Duran, Soft Cell, Prodigy, Bronski Beat, New Order, the Pet Shop Boys, the Faces, the Small Faces, Humble Pie, Herman's Hermits, Gerry and the Pacemakers, the Dave Clark Five, T. Rex, Lloyd Cole and the Drifters, Take That, Squeeze, the English Beat, Fishbone, Deep Purple, Chumbawamba, ABC, and 294 other bands of fair to middling talent.
Rick Allen, the drummer who lost his arm in a horrific car wreck in the mid-1980's, was overheard saying "You mean there are stil people who can remember us? Even I had forgotten most of our songs."
The producer responsible for most of Def Leppard's mid-80's hits (like Pour Some Sugar on Me, Armageddon It, Photograph, and Rock of Ages), Mutt Lange, was unavailable for comment as he was reportedly "fucking the shit out of Shania Twain in a mansion in Switzerland."
Thursday, October 21, 2004
NEWS FOR THE MASSES
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(note: news reported here may or may not be true. Reader discretion is advised.)
(note: news reported here may or may not be true. Reader discretion is advised.)
