reported by Suplex

REUTERS - In a Saturday broadcast on Fox News Channel, reporter Brit Hume called the Cable News Network (a subsidiary of AOL Time-Warner), a "bunch of total douches".

Rupert Murdoch, owner of News Corporation (the parent company of Fox News), released a statement that read "Yeah, they're a bunch of pooftahs over at CNN. Now how's about some more vegemite?"

Hume is not expected to receive any sort of sanction from Fox News, but is instead expected to co-host the new news-magazine show "Increase Your Ratings By Acting Like a Jackass" with Bill O'Reilly.

CNN did not issue a formal statement. They instead ran a message across their newscrawl reading "Stop being mean to me, Fox!" followed by a series of sad-visaged emoticons.

MSNBC executives could not be reached for comment as they were too busy picking through the dumpster behind their offices to find food for the night.